Sangkuriang-Syndrome…when older women met younger men


A weekend party. Two people met on the dance floor. One woman slightly in her late 30’s. One man reaching his late 20’s. Enjoyed each other company, good conversation, good dancing. Connection seems real and fast paced. Kissed each other good night.

A one night party had a sequel. Second party. Conversation getting deeper. They realized they both really enjoyed each other company. Until the younger man said something like… “hey, i see a lot of younger woman with older man in here”. Buzz!!!

“Well…not you! You are probably the only younger man and older woman here”, i smiled.

How much ‘younger’ is ‘younger’? How much ‘older’ is ‘older’?

Can a younger man have healthy relationship with older woman? Can an older woman found a soulmate in younger man?

Had a fun conversation with a friend about this earlier. She said….man will always be man. They will always look for younger, fresher woman to date…or (worst) to marry. So it will leave us, the older ones, un-marry and probably have not a chance to marry. Sad, really.

But then suddenly it struck me! What about those who dates or marry older woman? It happened. Many are successful, even. To name a few….President of France and Hugh Jackman. Come on….who wouldn’t want to be marry to them??

I said to her, “imagine….man marry a beautiful young woman, who most of the time are not completely ready to commit but then found marriage to be convenient for life. No work, plenty of time to do social media, party and ‘arisan’. However the older guy, when they marry, they want one thing. Secure their legacy. Babies….lots of them. So, young woman have babies. But then have no time to take care baby. Baby Boy grew up without mommy, cause mommy busy. Daddy of course, busy as well. So Baby Boy becomes a man who misses mommy figure. Until one day in his 20’s, he meets a beautiful successful content 40 something woman who quench his thirst of motherly love. Make sense?!”.

Then I continue. “Ever imagined Sangkuriang-syndrome? We all know the story. Dayang Sumbi was sort-of-married with a demi-God dog named Tumang. Baby born, Sangkuriang. The naughty boy one day accidently killed Tumang, who is the daddy. Sangkuriang banished. Never see mommy again. Missed her whole his life. Then in his adulthood, meet a beautiful content woman and fall in love. Of course, it’s Dayang Sumbi, who magically didn’t age. Stay’s 30 and lovely. That’s Sangkuriang-syndrome. In a modern life, Sangkuriang is the baby boy, absentee daddy is Tumang and older women with motherly love is Dayang Sumbi. Should i explain more?”

We burst in laughter. Forget Oedipus Complex, we have new theory indeed!

I personally had my share of dating younger men. In my early 30’s i accidentally dated a few younger men. Three years younger is probably nothing. But 8 years? That is surely something. But then in early 30’s, i don’t look that bad hahaha. No grey hair yet and 20 kg’s less of course, size 6 at max. Some did grow into a rather serious relationship. Despite the age difference, i had an 18 months relationship with one of them.

But being in my late 30’s and meeting a younger man with almost 10 years difference sure is different. I feel older, look older. People starts calling me ‘Ibu’ all the time instead of ‘Mbak’. Grey hair is everywhere, which i have to cover with hair dye every 2 months. Over weight cause no matter how much exercise i did, i can’t lose weight that easy anymore. Sure things are different.

One great scene of the movie “Prime”, starred Uma Thurman, the boy preferred to play game console instead of having sex. Left Uma Thurman regretted her decision to buy one for his birthday. This is also a sample movie of younger men, older women. And what sets them apart is the older woman wants a family while the younger man is not ready. So farewell they must.

So how? How does this things works? One can never tell. Same as i can’t tell if my younger man will be ‘something’. While most of the time. the scenario will be more like this Sangkuriang, where both part ways. If not condemned of being a mountain. Hahahahahaha…..

 

 

 

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