Pain, Depression and Why Do People Commit Suicide


When a big superstar died of suicide, the world mourns. The past few months, two stars have fallen. From Chris Cornell to Chester Bennington. What is it about stars and suicide?

If we remember, many notable person died of suicide. I can named a few. Marilyn Monroe, Kurt Cobain, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Alexander McQueen, Robin Williams. Even the great Ernest Hemingway died of suicide. So why? Why would such talented, successful people do such thing to end their life? Are they an empty person inside?

Few months ago, i watched a famous mini series, Thirteen Reasons Why. Of course, 13 episodes…all done in 24 hours :D. Yeah…i wasn’t have much to do at that time. It tells the 13 reasons, apparently, of a young high school girl of why she committed suicide. From facing a bullying to rape. On the movie, some things didn’t really makes sense to me. Hannah, the girl, was more of like a “popular” girl. She knew the school jocks and cheers. Unlike a total nerdy girl who probably got mocked every day at school and locked up in the bathroom. And she is also pretty. Come on….why would a pretty girl get depressed. On the other side, being in some of Hannah’s situation might be very depressing as well.

Without having the need to go thru all the 13 reasons, one reason is apparent. People are craving for acknowledgement, otherwise they are empty. They may be pretty, rich, talented or successful, but without an acknowledgement from others…they are a wrecked boat. Sailing in the open sea called the world with no directions and eventually drowned to the deepest ocean and ended up in the darkest bottom and die.

I wrote a short story once. It was about a person who crave for death. Tried many means of suicide but ended up fail everytime. Cause each means are never powerful enough. It was meant to be satire yet depressing story. But damn…i lost it. Think it was on my laptop before it was stolen years ago. Gone…..

In a way, i kind of relate to those who committed suicide. They are tired, hopeless and mainly scared. Tired of all the drama, the game, the unwritten story of life. Scared of the unknown. I can be tired sometimes, drowned in depression of the many fail moments and attempts in life. I am scared of the unwritten story and sometimes think, i should not write anything anymore and just let anybody wrote mine. But damn…i never have the courage to commit suicide. I once said to my friend if i ever wants to commit, it would be drinking a strawberry flavoured poison. Of course, she laughed out loud. For there is no such thing.

I went thru a therapy for couple of months few years ago. I was diagnosed as manic-depressive, but still fixable. I can’t remember how much money i spent, tears went down, tissue thrown, during those session. I can’t say it helped, cause eventually depression comes back. But it did helped me that time to go thru those painful times, to give me enough courage to stand again and walk, continue trying out live.

Every people you met is probably going thru their own depression. They may look happy, rich, pretty and successful…but inside, they are as damaged as everyone else. So be kind…lend a hand. Listen before you talk. Help, even when they can never help you back. Just be nice. For every other person is facing their own demons inside. And if you feel like you are suicidal or depressed, seek help. Talk to someone, a professional, i would suggest. Don’t drowned in your own pain. For this last one…..i sometimes missed my therapy. I think i need one 😀

For it is so hard to find someone who listens to you, unconditionally. But then again…if you are religious, there will always be GOD.

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